It’s true: You will boost your odds of finding a fantastic partner if you become convinced deep down that you have a lot to offer. You bring many assets and attributes to a potential relationship, and you’ll radiate that fact when you regularly remind yourself of your best qualities. To move forward with, believe the best about yourself and your future.

Begin by paying close attention to your self-talk, all those silent but powerful internal messages you continually send yourself.

Most of the time we have little awareness of our internal dialogue. Yet this self-talk has a huge impact on how you feel about yourself. It is the single most important determiner of whether or not you feel profound significance at your core. Your self-talk is a primary tool for realizing your loveability. Healthy persons are keenly aware of what they say to themselves, how they say it, and when they say it.

Self-talk is closely related to self-fulfilling prophesies. What you believe will happen often does happen. Action follows attitude, behavior follows beliefs. Suppose you’re on a date with someone you really like, but things are off to a bumpy start. The conversation is stiff, and you’re both tense. You’re at a fancy restaurant, and your self-talk plays like this: “Why can’t I ever think of anything to say? My jokes are so lame. Why did I choose this outfit? It makes me look fat.”

If all of this is going on in your mind, it’s sure to leak out in your behavior. You’ll act nervous and self-conscious. It’s a cyclical process, since negative self-talk accelerates the downward spiral.

But suppose you shifted your internal dialogue: “It’s nice to be on a date. I’m just going to be me and have a great time. I think we’re starting to click.” All of these positive thoughts will enable you to be more underline! important;”

Positive self-talk is not only important for brief periods of time, but can also provide optimism as you look toward the future. Imagine the single person whose internal messages say, “I’m never going to find a decent partner. My last relationship ended miserably. I’m destined to be single and alone all my life.” Replayed constantly, that kind of thinking will become ingrained.

What a difference it would make if the self-talk were affirmative and hopeful. “I can’t wait to find the person of my dreams. I’ll hold out as long as it takes to find the best partner for me. And while I’m waiting, I’m going to keep working on myself to grow, develop, and improve.” That kind of thinking builds momentum in a positive direction.

Want to find the love of your life? Start by muzzling your inner critic. Instead, become your own biggest booster, cheerleader and encourager.

Some of my single friends in their late twenties had gone to our pastor, Dr. Jack Hyles, had shared with him that they wanted to get married, and he helped set them up with dates. I thought that was great and so I decided that I would visit my pastor also. I just knew that he would help me find a husband also.

Was I ever disappointed! When I shared my dream of wanting to date and marry, my pastor’s response shocked me. He said, “Jane, if I were you I would decide that I will probably never marry.” I was crushed. The only two words I really heard were , “NEVER MARRY!” Could he have really said what I thought he said? He then stated, “If you marry someday, fine, but if you never marry, you will learn to be content as a single lady.”

I left his office devastated that night. I just couldn’t believe it. NEVER MARRY! Those words went over and over in my mind. For several weeks I was more depressed that when I went into his office. However, in my early twenties I made a decision to go to my God-given leaders for advice when I needed it, and then to do what they suggested, even if I did not like what they told me.

I began praying about the words my pastor had said. I told God I wanted to marry, but since Pastor Hyles had suggested I learn to be content as a single person I wanted God’s help in doing so. It was a process, but God worked in my life and as I rearranged my thinking and became content as a single lady I really came to a point where I realized I was a happy person as a single lady. I realized that if I never married I could be happy and content. That was a wonderful turning point for me, and a wonderful place to be in life.

About a year later God brought a wonderful man of integrity and character into my life. It was not love at first sight; I was careful to not give my heart to this man I was dating until I was convinced that he was the man God wanted me to marry. People made statements such as, “You’d better hold on to this one; it might be your last chance.” I believe if I had not had that sage advice from my preacher I might have listened to such foolish advice. Rather, I knew I was happy as a single lady, and I did not want to marry someone just to get married. I wanted to be sure I loved this man for who he was and that I could be happier and more fruitful as a Christian married to him that I was as a contented, happy single lady.

My pastor gave me the best advice possible that day to answer my question to him. You see, I kept thinking that if I got married I would really be happy. However, marriage does not make one happy if the person is depending on that marriage to make her happy. Learning to be content as a single lady helped me to learn to be content as a married lady.

And so, today, I give you the same advice as my pastor gave to me. Learn to be content as a single lady. I have now been happily married for over 27 years, but I believe the key to the happiness I have experienced in my marriage is that I did not married to become happy. I had learned to be happy and content in my circumstances as a single lady.

     I want to chat with you for a moment.  I am asking you to pretend that you and I are sitting down and are talking about the holidays in my office.  It is sad to hear how many lives the devils destroy over the Holidays.  As a Youth Pastor over and over again I would hear of one of my teenagers go to some party and do something they never intended to do.  Or they were with some “friends” and got in trouble because they were in the wrong crowd.    In Amos 3:3  it says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”  We all are being constantly influenced by the people we hang around.  Not one of us is excluded.  If they don’t go to your church or a church of like faith, then you should  have nothing to do with them.  On December 31,  instead of going to the party on why don’t you go to the church hous for a Watch night service.  There is nothing better then praying in the new year.  If there is no service at your church then you should spend some quality time with the family.   We should not even hang around the world.  You show me who you hang around and I will tell you what kind of person you are.  We should not be talking, acting, or thinking like the world.   I want to ask you a question.  Do the friends you hang around curse, or go to places that would embarse you if Jesus saw you there.  You know he sees you anyways.  We should act as if our God is right next to you, because he is. Yet many Christians over the holidays will take alchol and do things that they never planned and reck there lives.    Us Christians  put ourselves in to much tempation.  Many of our temptation to sin was put there by us, and we fight to many spiritual battles that God never intended for us to fight.  And it is because we put ourselves into tempatation.   You may or may not believe drinking is wrong, but it has been proven to destroy your liver if taken over the years.   And the Bible teaches in I Corinthians 6:19 that we are the temple of God.  And we should never do anything that would destroy the temple God has given us.   The world is going in a different direction then the child of God.  And that goes for the Holidays also.  The origanally Holidays were Holydays.  These we special days set apart by God to remember what God have done for them.  As an example the Passover is a Holyday for every Jew.  And the world has changed the meaning of the  Holidays.   To them it is all about having a  good time, family, and reflection.  And that in itself is not all that bad.  But for the child of God it is about thanking our Saviour Jesus Christ for all the blessings he has brought on our lives.   Keep  Christ the center of your Holidays, and do nothing that you would be ashamed of if you were found out.   I hopet you to spend much time with the family.  Many a friend have come and gone, but my family has always been there.   At this writting my Dad is not well.  He has been battling cancer for five years, and I never know if this is will be the last Christmas.  And I am glad that I have made many wonderful memories with him.  I know that when he dies, if it is next year or five years from now that I will have no regrets.  I am not saying that you should not  spend any time with your friends, but spend the majority of your time with God and Family.  This is the most precious treasure we have, and if you do all in this article you will not have any regrets after the Holidays.  Just a thought!

      “Opportunity? Yeah, it is an opportunity to be lonely, frustrated, and depressed. It is an opportunity to have your hopes dashed, your feelings hurt, and your pride whacked. It is an opportunity to always be on the outside looking in. It is an opportunity to watch your old friends start new lives with their families and leave me behind. It is an opportunity for continual temptation. It is an opportunity for hypocrisy as I try to pretend in public that being single doesn’t bother me. Yeah, that’s a really wonderful opportunity you’re talking about right there, preacher.” Now, throw in some text speak, say, ROFLOL, and an eye rolling emoticon and we start to get the picture of how some single Christians view my opening proposition.

        I understand their pain, I really do. At my college graduation the chancellor had the girls in the crowd sing this encouraging little ditty:

            If you don’t leave with a woman you don’t leave at all

            If you don’t leave with a woman you don’t leave at all

            If you’re so dumb that you can’t find

            A woman in the registering line

            If you don’t leave with a woman you don’t leave at all

I sat there in the crowd, rather numb, being one of the few who hadn’t found anybody. And that wasn’t for lack of looking, either, let me tell you!

         Yet at the same time I was smack dab in the middle of a wonderful

opportunity. Why do I say that? Very simply, my friend, because God said

so. In I Corinthians 7 the Apostle Paul is discussing family, marriage, sex,

and the single life. In it he makes several rather astounding assertions

regarding the single life. One of them is this, “But I would have you without

carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the

Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the

things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.”

      In essence, Paul is maintaining that the single Christian has more of an opportunity to serve the Lord than a married Christian does. That is a wonderful aspect about the single life that shouldn’t be overlooked.

      As a single man, I could spent 10 hours of my day off building a bus route. As a single man, I could use my vacation time to serve during our church conferences. As a single man, I could go soul winning at midnight. As a single man, I could give a substantially higher percentage than just the tithe to my church. As a single man, I could mentor teenagers one-on-one by the hour. As a single man, I could pick up and move to follow God’s will relatively easily. As a single man, I could start a church and live in the office. Now, as a married man with three children I no longer have that type of flexibility.

      My dear friend, I repeat, as a single Christian you have a wonderful opportunity. Please don’t view your life status as a burden. Rather, let me kindly encourage you to view it through a Scriptural lens for what it actually is – a wonderful opportunity to care for the things that belong to the Lord.

Most of us are in awe – or disbelief – when we hear that a couple has been married for 50 years or longer. These days few marriages, let alone relationships, last that long. For instance, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 76 percent of men who married in 1955 to 1959 stayed married for at least 20 years, while only 58 percent of men who married in 1975 to 1979 stayed married as long. Marital longevity also declined for shorter anniversaries or couples that stayed together five, 10 or 15 years.

But even if your relationship or marriage lasts for 10 years or more, it doesn’t mean it’s overflowing with romance. So what’s the secret to keeping romance alive in long-term relationships? Perhaps a clue lies in how you define romance, as revealed in a study published in the Review of General Psychology.

“Many believe that romantic love is the same as passionate love,” said lead researcher Bianca P. Acevedo, Ph.D. “It isn’t. Romantic love has the intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry that passionate love has, minus the obsessive component. Passionate or obsessive love includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. This kind of love helps drive the shorter relationships, but not the longer ones.”

Here are other ways to keep romance alive in your relationship: