In His Time » Men of God

How To Impress Women By Jason Elery

lawrence — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 01:23:00 +0000

I’m going to share a secret that I’ve learned over the years. It’s a secret that 98% of all men on this planet don’t know about, or will ever figure out. The reason that most men don’t know about this
particular secret is that it’s too obvious, and it’s easily over-looked.

Here’s the deal…I often notice that when I am out in the field, that others will approach and start talking to a girl, and then immediately start trying to “impress” her. I personally believe that on some level all men feel a powerful desire to impress women. This seems to be the way our brains have been programmed to act when we’re talking to a girl we like. You can sit a watch a guy when he’s with a girl that he just met, and you’ll notice his body language and his behavior just screaming “Like me, please!” Not good. Maybe you’ve been there yourself. I know I have. Many, many times, in fact. Here are some of the signs that a man is trying impress a woman:

1. He feels that he “doesn’t want to mess this up” and tries to be “on his best behavior”.

2. He tries to say things that will make him seem cool in the eyes of the girl.

3. He acts weird and unnatural when talking to a girl.

4, He’s inside his head and tries to figure out “the next move”.

5. If a woman has a negative reaction to something he says, he instantly hits “reverse” and tries to change what he said to suit the woman.

So what’s the secret? It’s actually quite simple…STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS HER. If you stop trying to impress women, and apply
some of the strategies and tactics I’m teaching you instead, women will be DRAWN to you naturally like magnets. It’s actually counterproductive to try to impress a women. Let me rephrase that…TRYING TO IMPRESS A WOMAN HAS THE OPPOSITE REACTION. I’m not kidding. They have a subconscious radar for this kind of stuff, and will see through it INSTANTLY. So let’s analyze the cause of this behavior that so many of us seem to indulge in. Through my many experiences in the field with hundreds of students, I’ve noticed that this
powerful desire to impress a women we like is caused by the BELIEFS we hold in our head.

These beliefs include:

1. I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I will try to “impress” you instead.

2. I’m not comfortable enough around women to just act normal.

3. I don’t have a lot of experience with attractive women.

4. I’m insecure.

5. I don’t know how to make women feel comfortable with me.

And here’s the kicker…All of this is communicated on a “subtle” level when you try to “impress” a girl, and that’s why the girl INSTANTLY picks this stuff up and loses attraction for you. The conversation will start to feel awkward, your body language will become incongruent, and you’ll worry about what to say next. Now of course, in the beginning of this article I told you that knowing this secret will put you
ahead of 98% of all other men. That’s because 98% of ALL MEN DO IT ALL THE TIME. It’s predictable, boring, and too common to spark
any attraction. Most men don’t have the courage to turn an every-day question around to something that creates attraction in a woman. They probably don’t even know that they CAN. Now, there are one thing that you can do that will INSTANTLY impress a woman… and I mean REALLY impress her.
But this thing is subtle and hard to put your finger on if you don’t know about them. The thing you can do to REALLY impress a women is to make her feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you. The feeling of attraction is what makes a woman pursue you, and think about you long after you have left and gone home. What the best way to create this attraction in a woman? Stop trying to impress women. Stop right now.
Relationship are given by God. We can give suggestions, but ultimately it is God that will give the right girl to you in his time.

Who’s First In Your Life? By Mr Neil Fruit

lawrence — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 23:48:52 +0000

Don’t “put the cart before the horse?”
God has both a general will for each of us and a specific will for each of us. The specific will is often not made clear to us until it is time for us to fulfill that will. The general will of God is readily available to us all of the time and at any time. Specifically, with regard to your dating and marriage, God will not likely come to you in a dream or vision and give you the name, address, and telephone number of the person you are to date and marry. If He did so this Web site would be completely without purpose. He does, however, have some general principles it is wise to follow.
Too often we get things completely backward. God is a God of design, a God of structure, and a God of order. God has a plan and a purpose for everyone and for everything. There are no accidents with God. Part of God’s plan and purpose is that we conform to His plan and His purpose. To do so we must first find God’s plan and God’s purpose or we are completely without hope of conforming to it. The problem is that it is far more convenient and far more palatable to us to devise our own plan and to then seek God’s permission and God’s approval for us to proceed according to our plan.
The children of Israel desired and appreciated the presence of God as they undertook their journey in the wilderness. God manifested Himself in the pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night, but there was no one location where God met and dwelt with man, and it was the desire of God’s heart to have such a place. God put it in the heart of Moses to construct a place where God could and would dwell in the presence of man, but God did not leave it up to Moses to design and build such a place. God gave specific instructions to Moses. God designed and created the “blueprints” if you will of the place where He would meet with man. Moses’ job was to go to God and get the pattern and to then go to men (like Bezaleel) and construct the tabernacle according to the pattern God had given.
Life is made up of relationships. Life is not places. Life is not things. Life is not accomplishments. Life is people and relationships with those people. It was a relationship God was seeking with Moses and with Israel and God knew that if it was to be all that it could be and all that it should be, it would have to be according to a pattern: according to THE pattern.
Far too many of us have an idea of the perfect relationship. We have created in our mind what we would consider to be the perfect mate, the perfect life, and the perfect future, but this is our pattern and not His. Most of our families and most of our churches today are dysfunctional for the same reason: we have take a human “pattern” a human model as our pattern and model for not only our human relationships, but for our relationship with God as well. We learn first how to have a relationship according to the pattern of men rather than God. We then carry that dysfunctional pattern to our relationship with God. We have placed the cart before the horse.
This is not the “pattern” God would have us follow. God would have us first learn how to have a relationship by developing a good one with Him. The only way that is possible is by establishing the relationship according to His pattern for relationships. We love Him because He first loved us. We must first learn from Him how to love. We must then learn to love Him as He has loved us – sacrificially, and unconditionally. When we have thus learned how to love Him we will have the proper pattern for loving another person. Only then can we love according to the pattern of God and only then can we apply that pattern to our relationships with people in general and especially to the person with whom we would spend our life.
The best thing that you can do now is to learn to love God and to do so according to His pattern. Learn how to have a solid and wonderful relationship with God and show Him you value that relationship. Learn to love Him sacrificially and unconditionally. When you have convinced God that you understand what it is to have a good relationship with Him and that you know how to develop and maintain such a relationship (by following His pattern) God will more likely give you a human relationship to complete you. God is a jealous God, but He is not jealous in the sense that He would keep you from a wonderful human relationship. He proved this when He said that it was not good for Adam to be alone and then created the first woman. God honored the fact that Adam had loved God and learned to have a real, personal, and intimate relationship with Him. In the end, should God not choose to give you that perfect mate, should you find that God is all that you have, you will not be disappointed because you will know that God is all you need.

On Line Dating Don’ts By Jeff Houston

lawrence — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 02:15:06 +0000

Everyone on this and every other website is hoping to find that special someone. And as a single person I find that there is some mistakes I would like to share and hope you don’t fall into any of these categories.

1. Don’t pose for pictures.When checking out the photos on a dating profile, I always remind myself that I’m seeing the subject at her/him absolute best. And that’s OK — it only makes sense to put up your most flattering photos. But I hate it when women do that pouty, or bored look whenever someone pulls out a camera. A funny candid shot goes a lot further with me. Or not posting a posting a picture at all. It always amaze me how many people will register on a website and not show a picture of themselves.

2. Don’t complain about the last guy/girl.Too many women (and men) use their profile to complain about former dates. For instance, there was a cute blond guy who almost got a message from me until I read the following: “No vegans, uber- hipsters or pervs. No exceptions.” Uh, OK. I’m none of the above, but he sounds a little bitter, no? They want to know that you have moved on, and if you can’t move on from your former love how will you be in our relationship. You are telling people that you are not ready to date.

3. Don’t overshare.While I instantly skip profiles that only feature one photo and a few uninformative scraps of personal information, there’s something to be said for a little mystery. It is always best to put your best foot forward. Sharing things like how you hate your job, your problable with the opposes gender, your problem with your parents divorce or some other heart ache you had as a child, and jokes about yourself. These things don’t draw a person toward you, but push them away. Don’t reveal your negatives, and don’t look for support from someone that has shown interest in you. Don’t get me wrong there will come a time that you should share those different things, but down the road when they have grown to like you.

4. Don’t make your pet a focal point.I get it — you care very much for Mr. Snugglebuttons, and it’s important for your guy to also be an animal lover. Fair enough. But take it too far and I begin to wonder if you’re looking for a boyfriend or someone to clean the litter box. And don’t focus on any other one thing. They are trying to get to know you but not one specific thing in your life.

Love is a slow process where you grow to love that other person as you take that journey of dating. Take these sure steps and you will make a good first impression.

Trust God In Your Dating By Pastor Santos

lawrence — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 03:28:48 +0000

I always thought I’d be married by the time I turned twenty-five. I thought that by then the right girl would just magically appear and things would just “happen.” I searched and looked and sought in all the wrong places. I dated some girls, but I knew they were not the right one. I desperately clung to my ideas of how to get a girl and my ideals of what a girl should be like, but all to no avail. When twenty-five came, the dream was crushed and not only was I not married….I didn’t even have any prospects.My problem was that I was too wrapped up in what I thought I needed. One night, God got a hold of my heart in an unusual way. I realized that the empty place in my heart was not because I did not have the relationship with the woman I wanted, but because I did not have the relationship with God that I needed.

At age twenty-seven, I started going back to church. It was the most unlikely place to find a girl. It wasn’t one of those big, “happening” churches with large single groups. It was a little, Bible-believing church where the preacher preached God’s Word and the emphasis was on serving Him and others, not on serving myself. I decided to listen to the preacher. I decided to draw close to God. I decided to serve Him. All of these decisions led me to a new crossroads in my life….I felt that the Lord wanted me to leave my high-paying job, my comfortable home and my home state to go to Bible college. At first, I decided that this was too much to ask. I couldn’t do it. I thought I could wait just a little longer, make just a little more money and continue to just stay where I was at. I dated some more girls–”church” girls–but still, things didn’t work out. I realized I had made the wrong decision. I surrendered, and went off to Bible college. Eventually, while I was at Bible college and busy serving God, He sent the right woman across my path and I finally got married–at age thirty-two.

Here are a few of the important lessons that the Lord taught me while I was single:

1. I decided that my number one priority in life is my relationship with God. This would be the foundation

for all my future decisions.

Matthew 6:33 “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

2. I had to trust that God not only had a plan for my eternal destiny, but also for my earthly journey. Over

the years, I have seen so many people try to do things in their own way, not trusting that the Lord knows what is best for them.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”

3. I found that I could not violate Scriptural principals and expect the right consequences. Principals such

as God being first my life, keeping myself pure, and dating only a woman who was saved and had the

same heart for God that I did. For years, I was guilty of “doing that which was right” in my own eyes.

The devil will send plenty of decoys and he will try to get you to think that you are exception to the rule

(the Bible).

Psalm 127:1 “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it…”

4. I decided that I must allow God to have all the options in my life, including the option of never being

married, if that was His will.

Proverbs 16:3 “Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.”

5. I learned that if I had gotten things my way and in my time, it would have been disastrous. I had to learn that I needed to learn patience. Sometimes, God wants us to wait because He is trying to bring about a change in us to prepare us for what is to come. I found that one of the marks of maturity is learning to wait on Him.

James 1:3-4 “Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

6. I decided to enjoy and accept my life as a single man because that was God’s will for me.

Philippians 4:11 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”

After twelve years of marriage, I have learned that God always gives His best to those who leave the choice up to Him–in His way and in His time.

The Guys Gazing Eye By Brother Paul Nutt

lawrence — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 01:14:04 +0000

There is a deception going on today with men who think it is okay to gaze upon women. Oh, they may say to themselves its okay to look just as long as I don’t lust. But you will see that the Devil uses that thought to trap many men into a huge sinful problem that can lead to a huge addiction. I, myself once believed this lie from the Devil, and it has taken me down a road that now I wish I had not gone down. Going down this road opens a door in our lives that once opened it is very hard to close. Our eyes are the gateway to our heart. And if we as Christian men are going to live holy and pure lives we must learn to control our eyes.

Many times we look at things being controlled by our heart. But the Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Let me ask you a question, if something was unstable and dangerous and unable to be known, would you trust it? Would we seriously be so naïve to be led by such a dangerous thing? So naïve to let it lead our lives to the point that it could destroy relationships, our relationships with family members and possible destroy our lives.

The heart is controlled, to a point, thru the eyes. If our heart is to be controlled we must control our eyes. I believe that a thing as simple as a gaze can hurt us Christian men. The word gaze is defined as to fix the eyes in a steady intent look often with eagerness or studious attention. Even if what we would call a harmless gaze can be dangerous. When we see a beautiful woman, even if one is dressed appropriately, when we let our eyes control us by gazing upon her beauty, there is a fine line between admiring and lusting. Many men do not know where that line is and what may seem to be a simple gaze can turn into lustful thoughts.

Oh my, the things we are gazing at will cause our minds to think bad thoughts. And bad thoughts lead to eventually doing something bad. So many men mess their lives up because they fail to realize something as simple as this. They think that it is just a harmless stare and they are deceived by the Devil. There is no such thing as a ‘harmless stare’. If we are to be pure and holy for God we cannot gaze at women. We must control our eyes.

As it says in 1Corinthians 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? Your eyes and your mind is not yours to use as you want. They are to be used for the glory of God. Also in 2Co 6:16 it says: for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. We must tell ourselves these are God’s eyes and God’s mind and I will look and think on what is pleasing unto the Lord. Philippians 4:8 says: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. These are what you are to be looking and thinking on, THESE THINGS.

I know, you may be saying but I’m strong enough to handle it. I can look and it won’t affect me. I say you are being deceived by the Devil. As it say in Proverbs 7:25 & 26: Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. You still think you are strong enough to handle it to the point it won’t affect you? I say again, you are being deceived by the Devil. He wants to destroy you and make you ineffective for Jesus Christ. I don’t care whether a woman is dressed right or not don’t gaze at women. You are not strong enough to handle what the Devil is setting you up for.

Now, for those of you who have already opened that door in your life of sexual addiction, where your problem is not just gazing and lusting, but you are into hardcore stuff, let me give you some advice to help you close this door. It will be hard to close, but it can be done. Remember Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. First off, if you are saved, a born-again Christian on your way to Heaven, remember Jesus loves you and is ready to forgive you for whatever you have done. Ask for forgiveness from Jesus and tell him how sorry you are and that you want his help in changing your life.

Second, put away from you all those things that are tempting you to lust. Don’t go to places that cause you to be immoral in your thoughts, for example maybe the mall. Stay away from friends that trip you up. Don’t listen to dirty talk or jokes. Thirdly, anywhere you go now a day you see women dressed very scantly. Practice making your eyes like bouncing balls, where if you see something inappropriate such as a woman or billboard or whatever you immediately look away. I mean as fast as you can. And then don’t look back. Remember, if you saw something the first time, it wasn’t your fault, you haven’t sinned. You sin if you look a second time or if you don’t look away at all and just gaze.

And lastly, memorize scripture. Saturate your mind with Bible scripture that will help you stand against your temptations. The Bible says in Psalms 119:9 states: Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. Be a sponge and soak up as much scripture as you can. Spend much time with God thru Bible reading and prayer. Pray much for help. Remember, any temptation that you face you can win against. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

If I can be of any more help, please contact me at 734-330-9069. May God bless you on your journey.