A famous actor reportedly once overheard a woman commenting on her latest glamorous magazine cover photo. “I would give anything if my skin looked that good,” the woman said with a sigh.

The actor introduced herself and said, “Believe me, so would I!” She knew better than anyone that such “perfection” is a myth.

No wonder people sometimes stretch the truth about themselves a little in the early stages of a relationship. Sadly, singles no longer compete solely with flesh and blood rivals, but with mass media icons that are the work of airbrush painting and Photoshop, not nature. Who wouldn’t be tempted to gloss over their blemishes and emphasize a few highlights in their life?

Even so, there is a big difference between forgivable cosmetic embellishment and devious deception. One is meant to “enhance” the truth, the other to hide it, or replace it with a totally false version of reality. Self-flattery is no crime, but outright lies are dangerous. They usually obscure facts that, if known, would threaten the relationship—other romantic commitments, severe financial difficulty, even criminal behavior. So how can you know if you are dating a liar? Here are six ways to protect yourself:

Watch for inconsistency.
A person who tells lies must work hard to keep track of what they have said, and to whom. When the details of a story don’t add up, or keep changing over time, it may be a sign that you’re not getting the straight scoop.

Be alert to: too much information.
Liars often give themselves away by offering overly elaborate explanations for their actions. It is the inverse of Occam’s Razor, the famous rule of logic, which says that the simplest solution to any problem is usually the correct one. The greater a story’s complexity, the more likely it is to be untruthful.

Read nonverbal reactions.
Words may conceal the truth, but a liar’s language usually speaks volumes. Watch for excessive fidgeting, reluctance to make eye contact, closed and defensive postures like tightly folded arms, and even which direction a person looks when trying to recall details. If his eyes move up and to the right while he thinks of what to tell you next, watch out!

Ask direct questions.
If you suspect someone is lying, remember that you are entitled to the truth. Don’t be bullied into dropping it until you are satisfied.

Trust your gut.
One of the great breakthroughs in modern medical science is the discovery that neurochemicals long associated with “thinking” are not just located in the brain. In fact, the greatest concentration is found in—you guessed it—your abdomen. In other words, if a “gut feeling” tells you something your partner says is fishy, don’t ignore it.

If all the evidence points to devious deception in a fledgling relationship, break it off. The stark reality is, the situation is unlikely to improve—and may very well grow dangerously worse over time. There are too many good, honest people in the world to get yourself tangled up with a liar. It is better to break it off now, then to have a mate you can’t trust.

Truthfulness is an essential ingredient in any relationship. Don’t settle for less. In every aspect of life, and especially romantic partnerships, honesty really is the best policy.

Ladies!  Let’s talk  about something we all desire:  LOVE!

I remember as a 26-year old single lady the times when my lonely heart ached so badly, I thought I would die.  I recall feeling an emptiness in my heart that I was sure nothing in this world could fill except for the right man.  I think of how I cried and prayed to God, telling Him of my desire and need for someone to love me just because they wanted to and not because they had to (i.e. family).  There were many things in my life that were totally wonderful, but because I didn’t have that “special” man, I felt life was incomplete.

During these years of being single, I had many people come along with all kinds of well-meant questions and advice.  Family members and friends would ask me questions like ”When are you going to get married?”  Or “Do you have a boyfriend YET?”  or “What’s wrong with you—don’t you want a boyfriend?”  “Don’t you like boys?”
Often, following these mostly well-meant, but hurtful questions, was unsought advice like “Just ask a guy out yourself!” and “Flirt with them!” “Make yourself more available.”  “Fix yourself up more.”  “Talk more/less.”  “Be more friendly.”  “Act shy.”  “Don’t be too picky!”

Well, after walking the path of singleness for awhile, God led me to the right man.  Please allow me to offer some humble advice to those of you who are walking on the single path.  Whether you are just entering your 20’s or you are trying hard to hold on to your 20’s, I believe this can be helpful to all.

1. Be Still.  Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”  God wants us to get to know Him.  Try having time where you are totally still—no noise/music/sounds of any kind—just quiet.  We can really hear and get to know God much better in these still/silent moments.  He spoke to Elijah in a still, small voice.  How can we hear Him if are constantly trying to down out everything internal with all things external.  I was trying to fill my emptiness with a wonderful relationship with a special man, but what I needed was a special relationship with a wonderful God!

2. Stay Busy for God.  Proverbs 16:3 “Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.”  We need times to be still, but we also need to spend our extra time serving the Lord.  I believe that when we are busy doing something for God, He will bring the right man along.  What better place to find a man than in the path of God?!  “I being in the way, the Lord led me.”  (Gen. 24:27) Besides, you know the old saying, “A watched pot never boils!”  Staying busy for God also helps keep your thoughts right and your heart from wondering down the wrong path.

3. Wait.  Psalm 27:14  “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He shall strengthen thine heart:  wait, I say, on the Lord.”  Notice God tells us to “be of good courage.”  Ladies, let me tell you…it takes courage to wait on the Lord!  It seems easier to just take things into our own hands and just jump at the first guy that comes along.  I have seen more than one lady regret not waiting.  It is heartbreaking too see ladies (and men) enduring (or exiting) marriage rather than enjoying marriage all because they were simply too anxious to wait on the Lord.  God says He will strengthen our hearts, but He cannot strengthen something that is not yielded to Him.

4. Be appropriate—in your actions and attire.  We ought always strive to put forth our best and look our best.  We should do this because God tells us to “…do all to the glory of God” (I Cor. 10:31)  not so we can win a man.  Just remember, if you must act inappropriately or dress inappropriately to catch his eye and attention, some other woman will likely come along and get his attention by “flaunting her wares” with her inappropriate actions and attire.  If YOU can win him, YOU can lose him.  If you will allow the Lord to bring you together, you will have a much stronger and sweeter relationship because it is based on GOD and not man!

5. Seek Godly counsel.  What exactly is inappropriately action/attire?  As a single lady, I did not realize how men SEE things.  Many women—even married women—have absolutely NO IDEA of how men think.  Please, seek Godly counsel from your Pastor and his wife or some other Godly married couple.  Let them help you.  You won’t regret it.

Lastly (although this is truly primary), please allow me to encourage you to love God with all your heart, soul and mind.  After all, He is the one Who loves you more than life itself.

2. Paranoia runs rampant. Here you are dating a man you really like, and the first couple of weeks are going well. And he is out with the guys or at church instead of you. In the beginning, you send him a text that says, “Have a great time tonight!” As the night progresses, however, seeds of doubt start forming in your mind about what he’s doing, and you start to think “Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting with other women? Where is he right now?” So then, you lob another text in to him asking “What’s going on? What are you doing right now?” Even though he tells you he’s just hanging out with his friends, you proceed to make a major blunder:

You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away. So when you are dating a man and he’s out with his friends, respect his time — it will make you the cool woman he’s always wanted to find.

4. Fishing for compliments. This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here is a typical scenario: The guy you’re dating looks at you and says, “You really look beautiful tonight!” Ten minutes later, you look at him and ask, “How do I look tonight?” Stop fishing for compliments. Real compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you when we really mean it. If we don’t give a compliment at the exact moment you desire it, just accept it and be OK with that.

The Bible commands that women should wear modest clothing and in I Timothy 2:9 says, “In like manner also, that women adorn (put on) themselves in modest apparel (clothing).   This is saying that women should not wear clothing that draws attention to the body.  It is common knowledge that men are aroused by sight.  And the dress is the langage of thought to a man.  What is in your heart will come out in your dress.  You are telling a man that you are cheap and easy if you dress immodestly.  And even though you get his attention, it will be the wrong kind .   The nurse of infidelity is sensuality.  And it is a sin before all might God for you to arouse the wrong desires in men.

     There are certain common mistakes women wear in arousing the wrong desires in men.  Let me share some with you, that you will not give off the wrong message to men. 

1.   Tight Clothing.   So much of what is wrong in women dress is not shown, but it is suggested.  Things like tight sweater, tight blouses, or skirts that are tight is wrong.   Tight clothing that shows the entire figure of a women will definitely arouse the wrong desires in a man.  God has given you to one man and it is sin to show off what is not yours.  It is a type of adultery.  And you will regret it someday.

2.    Short skirts.  The mininum all ladies dress or skirts length should go to the bottom of the knees.   The Bible teaches that it is nakedness for men or women to reveal there thighs.  The Bible teaches in Exodus 28:42 says, “to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach.”  He we have the Lord tell Moses that it is wrong for the priest to show there thighs, because it would be nakedness.  And the shorter you make your dress ladies the more of the wrong attention you will receive.  And if you have every dress or skirt length you own be to the bottom of the knee, then it still will be on the border line of doing wrong.  Because you can sit down and cross your legs, and the it can arise and show the thighs still.  It is safe to wear all outfits to the middle of the calf.     You probable look at the out fit and think how pretty it is, but that is not what men are going to think.  And this applies also to shorts.  Please don’t think I am mad at any lady, but I just don’t want a men imagining sleeping with you in there mind.  And they will if you dress immodestly.

3.  A Plunging neck line.  Things like halter tops, and plunging neck lines that show part of your breast is a sin.  God wants you to be pure, and the nurse of infidelity is sensuality.  God wants you to be modest in all your clothing.  And most mens eyes will drift down when you are advertising your body to men.  And the sad thing is that men don’t respect a dirt women.  What men want to marry is a clean and pure girl that has saved herself for her husband someday.  So if you are a clean and pure girl don’t advertise what you are not!!

     So what is your dress telling people about you?   Is it saying that you are easy, and would be willing to go to bed with the right guy.  Or does it say that you are a clean , pure, and a christian girl that is saving her self .     My goal is not you hurt any women, but a desire for women to be treated as a lady and the greatest creation God has ever made.  Be pure on the inside and on the outside.  Just a thought.

     This visitor went on to tell me some of the sad facts about her life that occurred before she was saved.  I empathized with her in that she had some complexities in her life that were not her fault.  I had never had to face those types of hurts.  I reasoned with her that I could be happier than she because I was not rearing some children on my own without a husband/father.  I can be  happier than she because I had never been married and then had to learn to live without a husband as she has had to do.

     How can I miss what I never had?  My answers to her were as follows:

     1.  Make your church number one in your life.  She happens to attend a great soul-winning church and is an active soul winner.  I said, “No matter what, if you never marry again (which is what she wants to do), stay active and faithful in church.”

     2.  Give your life to the training and loving of the children for whom you do have custody.   Become a Coystal Hyles and build your son  and daughter just as Mrs Hyles did.  (The visitor was doing a pretty great job.   She already had one son attending Hyles-Anderson College, a Bible college.)

     3.  Look at what assets there are in your life and focus mentally on those assets.  Concentrate on them!  When the Devil brings to mind the parts of your life you can’t change, then immediately start thinking on the parts of your life about which you can do something.  Refuse to be envious of those who seem to have what you don’t have.  Refuse to compare yourself to anyone.

     4.  Always be learning something new.  Being single, widowed, divorced or unmarried with children doesn’t mean a person can’t learn or grow.  If I were alone with a child, I would like to think I would read every book by fundamental authors on the Christian life and child rearing I could get.  I’d like to think I would read every one of Dr. and Mrs Jack Hyles’ books.  I would hope I would help keep my child active in church.  I trust I would take him to Youth Conference at First Baptist Church of Hammond in July and to preaching conferences.

     In my case, I have really tried to challenge myself to be a life-changing Sunday school teacher.  I have looked for new ways to keep the attention of a dozen bus kids.  I have asked for advice on teaching girls from a wise and wonderful lady in our church, Mrs. Mary Ruth Harrington, who is most loved and revered by her Sunday school students.

     I find as I give myself daily to teaching my Sunday school girls, visiting their homes, winning their family members, teaching the girls at the college, and learning how to be a better teacher that I am happy with my cause.