Who Are You? Pastor Lawrence

Matthew 19:12  “For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake.”  This is part two in a series of articles discussing the common reasons why singles are single.

     Who are you?  It seems like an easy question.  But you would be amazed how many singles date people who are not like them. When I was in college I learned about myself.   Who I was.  I learned that there is things that push my buttons, how much I am like my parents, how much I really don’t know, and many other things.   And I want you to always remember this principal.  You attract what you are in dating and not what you want.  We all have heard of the story of a good girl marrying a creep of a guy, because she thought she could change him and she just had to get married.    The Bible is so true when it says in Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”  And the truth is that all our friends and our future spouse had to have a connection of agreement or we would not be with them. 

      In dating you need to look for someone with a background as close to yours as you can.  Because the more you have in common the more likely it is that the relationship will workout and marriage will happen.  I am going to give you a list of things you need to look for in a future spouse.  And if the person you are dating is lacking in one of these areas, then that is fine if you can live with that area that they are lacking in.  And only you can determine if you can live with there differences or not.  But in the end you must accept there difference and accept who they are.

1.  Spirituality-  In II Corinthians 6:14 it says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?  and what communion hath light with darkness.”  My heart breaks when I hear of some person that is dating an unsaved person.  And that single thinks that they are going to change that person and get them saved.  But rarely does it.  God never intended dating to be a soul winning activity to get your future spouse.  It can also be hard if they are of different faiths.  Now it could work, but more committed both parties are to their faiths the harder it will be on there  marriage.   The last is someone that is of the same faith, but one of them is worldly and is a believer in name only.  I just want to warn you that you may be satisfied with your spiritual luke warm dating partner for now, but in the future you will want a spouse that lives the same christian level of faith that you believe in and especially when you have children.   

2.  How clean are they?  This may or may not be an issue to you, but it can be one.  It is sad to hear women talk about having another child in the house, because they have to pick up after their husband.  If you are the clean type you should check out how they take care of the things they have.  A good example would be how clean is their car.  If they don’t mind people seeing there dirty car, then they problable keep the unseen things dirty also.  Like a room or a house.  Other examples are if they bath regularly and do they iron there clothes.  If you are clean or not you will be much happier with someone who is like you. 

3.  Race-  This does not have to be a problem, but you need to understand all that you are getting into.  For further information read the article on interracial dating.

4.   How were they raised.  Some things to rember in dating is finicial and educational background.   How we are raised affect so much on how we percieve things.  If you are good with money and they are not, then you will need to keep in the back of your mind that you are going to have to manage the money in the home someday if this relationship works out.  If the person you are dating grew up in a rich home, then they will probable will expect a higher standard of living, then you if you grew up in a poor home.  Or if a girl had a rich dad that spoiled her then you have to understand that she will want the same standard of living when you are married.

      Even though opposites attract, they also repel when they are together.  You need to find someone who is like you and this is only a sample of things you need to look for in dating.  None of these differences in and of themselves will break a relationship, but the more you have in common the better the chance that it is going to work out.