Still Busy Waiting By Mrs Santos

Ladies!  Let’s talk  about something we all desire:  LOVE!

I remember as a 26-year old single lady the times when my lonely heart ached so badly, I thought I would die.  I recall feeling an emptiness in my heart that I was sure nothing in this world could fill except for the right man.  I think of how I cried and prayed to God, telling Him of my desire and need for someone to love me just because they wanted to and not because they had to (i.e. family).  There were many things in my life that were totally wonderful, but because I didn’t have that “special” man, I felt life was incomplete.

During these years of being single, I had many people come along with all kinds of well-meant questions and advice.  Family members and friends would ask me questions like ”When are you going to get married?”  Or “Do you have a boyfriend YET?”  or “What’s wrong with you—don’t you want a boyfriend?”  “Don’t you like boys?”
Often, following these mostly well-meant, but hurtful questions, was unsought advice like “Just ask a guy out yourself!” and “Flirt with them!” “Make yourself more available.”  “Fix yourself up more.”  “Talk more/less.”  “Be more friendly.”  “Act shy.”  “Don’t be too picky!”

Well, after walking the path of singleness for awhile, God led me to the right man.  Please allow me to offer some humble advice to those of you who are walking on the single path.  Whether you are just entering your 20’s or you are trying hard to hold on to your 20’s, I believe this can be helpful to all.

1. Be Still.  Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”  God wants us to get to know Him.  Try having time where you are totally still—no noise/music/sounds of any kind—just quiet.  We can really hear and get to know God much better in these still/silent moments.  He spoke to Elijah in a still, small voice.  How can we hear Him if are constantly trying to down out everything internal with all things external.  I was trying to fill my emptiness with a wonderful relationship with a special man, but what I needed was a special relationship with a wonderful God!

2. Stay Busy for God.  Proverbs 16:3 “Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.”  We need times to be still, but we also need to spend our extra time serving the Lord.  I believe that when we are busy doing something for God, He will bring the right man along.  What better place to find a man than in the path of God?!  “I being in the way, the Lord led me.”  (Gen. 24:27) Besides, you know the old saying, “A watched pot never boils!”  Staying busy for God also helps keep your thoughts right and your heart from wondering down the wrong path.

3. Wait.  Psalm 27:14  “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He shall strengthen thine heart:  wait, I say, on the Lord.”  Notice God tells us to “be of good courage.”  Ladies, let me tell you…it takes courage to wait on the Lord!  It seems easier to just take things into our own hands and just jump at the first guy that comes along.  I have seen more than one lady regret not waiting.  It is heartbreaking too see ladies (and men) enduring (or exiting) marriage rather than enjoying marriage all because they were simply too anxious to wait on the Lord.  God says He will strengthen our hearts, but He cannot strengthen something that is not yielded to Him.

4. Be appropriate—in your actions and attire.  We ought always strive to put forth our best and look our best.  We should do this because God tells us to “…do all to the glory of God” (I Cor. 10:31)  not so we can win a man.  Just remember, if you must act inappropriately or dress inappropriately to catch his eye and attention, some other woman will likely come along and get his attention by “flaunting her wares” with her inappropriate actions and attire.  If YOU can win him, YOU can lose him.  If you will allow the Lord to bring you together, you will have a much stronger and sweeter relationship because it is based on GOD and not man!

5. Seek Godly counsel.  What exactly is inappropriately action/attire?  As a single lady, I did not realize how men SEE things.  Many women—even married women—have absolutely NO IDEA of how men think.  Please, seek Godly counsel from your Pastor and his wife or some other Godly married couple.  Let them help you.  You won’t regret it.

Lastly (although this is truly primary), please allow me to encourage you to love God with all your heart, soul and mind.  After all, He is the one Who loves you more than life itself.