Is My Guy Cheating on Me? Pastor Larry Jones

On of the saddest things I have to do as a minister is counsel when someone has been cheated on. If its either in dating or in marriage. But one could thing about being cheated on in dating is that you know what you have. That person will not change with a wedding. Sadly many people don’t find out until they are married. So here are somethings to pay attention to if you thing that the person you

are dating is not being faithful.

1. He’s superprotective of his gadgets.“The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating emails, IM chats, cell phone texts or bills,” says Pastor Ted Healmen of the Calvary Baptist Church. So if he’s being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer. It should be a giant red flag if he readily gave you passwords in the past, and now he’s more evasive.

2. He steps up the grooming. This is so obvious, but it’s a sign many women miss: “If your man starts grooming more without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he’s getting intimate with someone else,” says Healman. You can actually thank modern mass media for this tip off. Guys today are used to viewing manscaped dudes onscreen, so if he has another chick to impress with his appearance, he may emulate those ultra-trimmed guys. Another clue: He’s spending more time at the gym.

3. He smells different. “When he comes home, if he doesn’t smell the same as he did in the morning, and it isn’t the scent of soap in the gym or at your home, it may be because he’s showered at her place,” offers Healman. So pay attention, because in this case, that old saying “the nose knows” might very well be true.

4. Nothing fazes him anymore. “If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added intimacy and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy.” Healman says, Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships”: “

“If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.”

5. He becomes suspicious of you. “If he’s normally a mellow type, all of a sudden he may want to know where you are all the time and with whom,” says Healman. “It’s the result of him realizing that if he’s cheating and it’s not that hard, you might also be getting away with it.” Also, beware of extremely detailed responses to even your most innocent “How was work today?” queries. He may be preparing epic answers because he’s terrified of getting caught.

Dating can hurt and the road of love is never easy. Please keep your eyes wide open. We are all sinners and we need to be careful not to give our heart away to soon without knowing the person. Use these five points and it will be less likely that you will be shocked if your boyfriend is dating another girl.

From the Pastor's Desk | November 5, 2009